Arif, what a man, when he realised the secret to weight loss while fasting in the summer of 1987 he was keen to share his finds with the world. The Arif Effect weight loss regime is now available as a limited edition box set that comes complete with a bike pump and several bags of wood chips.

The price of US$10,000 is non negotiable and does not include taxes or bear insurances, if Arif decides you are not suited for the package he will come to your house and attack you with a salmon tied to a printer with electrical cable.

But why use TAE?

Extensive studies carried out by our in house scientists (non-qualified scientists asc - TAE record keeping) has shown that not eating food is actually healthier than eating 5 veges a day. Feeding your body is actually a crash course to failure, letting your body become accustomed to something as filthy and unnatural such as eating can have dire consequences, such as obesity and diabetes.

TAE is here to bring your body to it's natural health, freeing you from the daily burden of cooking, eating, and shitting. There have been no proven negative side effects since the program was released, and any side effects claimed through the media are all false lies, planning to over run this company and take the non-eating monopoly for themselves.

NEW PRODUCT UPDATE:

As of 14/07/2012 the Arif pill will be available at TAE stores world wide. The pill consists of a mix of epoxy resin, automotive panel filler, primer, fragments of old scones and a wooden spoon, these ingredients fuse together when injested and work to seal the inside of your stomach and prevent the digestion of any spiders that may crawl into your mouth at night